Char (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rivalkidneypunch) wrote2009-03-19 01:33 am
rivalkidneypunch) wrote2009-03-19 01:33 am
What had any of that accomplished, anyway?
Attachment was a devious son-of-a-bitch. Good for nothing but bullshit. As much as Char liked to strut around thinking he could leave it all behind tomorrow and never look back, this war had shown him otherwise. Even after it was over, that fact kept chafing away.
The way he'd grinned like a moron when he'd come to take Rasputin out of the bunkers and back into the sun. That idiot spider had all but bulled him over, headbutting him and making that rustly-clicky-happy noise like some kind of idiot dog, and Char hadn't minded in the slightest. When Bulba had shown up at his door with a pillow, a blanket, and an expression that tugged at him like a wound... shit. That look in his eyes was somehow more intolerable than all his injuries stacked together. Holding Nyx's hand in the dark and not being able to stop shaking.
Even now, when Bulba had finally drifted off and Rasputin was still, all those stupid bullshit urges wouldn't leave him alone. He wanted to bulldoze his way into Green's lap and demand belly rubs like a spoiled housecat. He wanted to search out Ivy and... what? See she was there, then leave? He didn't even know what. He wanted to hold onto Nyx's hand now that the shaking had stopped. In fact, forget the hand, he just wanted to hold her. He... hell, he remembered the days on the road, when night had settled in and there wasn't a Pokemon Center in sight. Charmeleon was a convenient source of heat and light for the team, and he gladly provided both. He wanted that again. A stupid pile of stupid Bulbasaur and stupid fatass turtle and stupid Green and this was all just damn stupid.
There was no getting away from it. His laptop did nothing to distract him. The school's blog network was full of it. (Getting married? Bullshit.) And his email inbox... Char hadn't forgotten the email he'd sent to his old trainer before this whole mess had began. And there it was. Sitting at the top of his inbox.
A reply.
He didn't read it. He closed the damn laptop and curled up next to Bulba. Reconsidered. Got up, moved away, settled down with his back to Bulba. Then immediately got back up and returned to his side. What had any of that accomplished, anyway?
"...This is bullshit," Char muttered under his breath.
The way he'd grinned like a moron when he'd come to take Rasputin out of the bunkers and back into the sun. That idiot spider had all but bulled him over, headbutting him and making that rustly-clicky-happy noise like some kind of idiot dog, and Char hadn't minded in the slightest. When Bulba had shown up at his door with a pillow, a blanket, and an expression that tugged at him like a wound... shit. That look in his eyes was somehow more intolerable than all his injuries stacked together. Holding Nyx's hand in the dark and not being able to stop shaking.
Even now, when Bulba had finally drifted off and Rasputin was still, all those stupid bullshit urges wouldn't leave him alone. He wanted to bulldoze his way into Green's lap and demand belly rubs like a spoiled housecat. He wanted to search out Ivy and... what? See she was there, then leave? He didn't even know what. He wanted to hold onto Nyx's hand now that the shaking had stopped. In fact, forget the hand, he just wanted to hold her. He... hell, he remembered the days on the road, when night had settled in and there wasn't a Pokemon Center in sight. Charmeleon was a convenient source of heat and light for the team, and he gladly provided both. He wanted that again. A stupid pile of stupid Bulbasaur and stupid fatass turtle and stupid Green and this was all just damn stupid.
There was no getting away from it. His laptop did nothing to distract him. The school's blog network was full of it. (Getting married? Bullshit.) And his email inbox... Char hadn't forgotten the email he'd sent to his old trainer before this whole mess had began. And there it was. Sitting at the top of his inbox.
A reply.
He didn't read it. He closed the damn laptop and curled up next to Bulba. Reconsidered. Got up, moved away, settled down with his back to Bulba. Then immediately got back up and returned to his side. What had any of that accomplished, anyway?
"...This is bullshit," Char muttered under his breath.