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rivalkidneypunch) wrote2009-11-04 01:24 am
rivalkidneypunch) wrote2009-11-04 01:24 am
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Aiden,
I swear, something up there hates me. As soon as I got pouring my heart out to you about being better for the sake of my team, everything goes to shit.
Look, it started off with Nyx. Something weird happened to her. I don't know what it was, but she went all crazy on me. She tried to kick my ass! So what do I do? Pussywhipped little chickenshit that I am, I don't tell nobody except for Bulba and Green. Oh, don't want her getting kicked out of school or nothing. We gotta stay together, even if she's lost her damn mind. Then when she's done being psycho, doesn't remember a lick of what happened, she asks if anything happened to me. So what do I do? Dump her ass? Get a restraining order? Nah. I'm all "oh, nothing happened, let me nurse you better, you poor thing." Just pretending the whole thing ever happened, because Arceus forbid she feel guilty about what happened. I get in enough fights that nobody's gonna bat an eyelash if I get a bit scratched up, so I think she bought it, but... what the hell am I doing?
She ain't even the only one. We had something freaky going on, and whatever it was got to Bulba. Seeing him like that, I... shit. If I had a single ounce of common sense, I would have hightailed it right the hell outta Dodge. Don't matter what they look like, a threat's a threat, right? I might be stupid, but I ain't suicidal. So why'd I just sit there like a dumbass and let him come straight at me? I didn't even give a shit what happened to me. Couldn't think of nothing but that stupid face of his. What if that had been for keeps? What if it didn't just go away on its own? I would have just walked facefirst into my own goddamn death.
And while this was going on, Green... he... goddammit. He ain't even been gone that long yet, and I... god, I'm already plannin' what I'm gonna do when he don't come back. Stupid, right? 'Course he's comin' back. It's just some retarded little family visit. No big deal. He's comin' back. He's definitely comin' back.
I wouldn't go back to Kanto. I couldn't face him or Ma or you. I'd go someplace where nobody knew me and tear it to bits. Just start wrecking until they damn well knew who I was. Then after that, I'd... hell, I dunno. This is kind of a shitty plan. Think I should take Bulba and Nyx with me?
The hell am I even saying? They hurt me, Aiden. I knew it was coming. I knew it. Those seven years weren't nothing but a time bomb, and I just sat there grinning like an idiot and waiting for it to blow up in my face. What am, I stupid? Fuck 'em both. Since when was I some kind of doormat? Since when would I ever put up with anybody messing with me? What the hell am I still doing here, if things are so bad that I'll just take somebody trying to hurt me lying down? I gotta take off, Aiden. I gotta get out of here. It's worse than it was last time. I can't just run off again while Green's away or he'll wreck me, but I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. I'm trying to wit until he gets back, but it's like somebody's got me by the throat and they're squeezing harder and harder.
I just invite trouble on myself, don't I? God, you think you're getting better, and it turns out that you've sunk lower than before. I mean... shit. At least when you hurt me, I was smart enough to hate you. Now I'm so desperate I'll just keep on saying "nah, I can trust these guys" even when I know I can't? What the hell am I supposed to do?
...That's a real stupid question, ain't it? You grab a wasp and it stings you, y'don't keep holding onto it.
- Kerosene
I swear, something up there hates me. As soon as I got pouring my heart out to you about being better for the sake of my team, everything goes to shit.
Look, it started off with Nyx. Something weird happened to her. I don't know what it was, but she went all crazy on me. She tried to kick my ass! So what do I do? Pussywhipped little chickenshit that I am, I don't tell nobody except for Bulba and Green. Oh, don't want her getting kicked out of school or nothing. We gotta stay together, even if she's lost her damn mind. Then when she's done being psycho, doesn't remember a lick of what happened, she asks if anything happened to me. So what do I do? Dump her ass? Get a restraining order? Nah. I'm all "oh, nothing happened, let me nurse you better, you poor thing." Just pretending the whole thing ever happened, because Arceus forbid she feel guilty about what happened. I get in enough fights that nobody's gonna bat an eyelash if I get a bit scratched up, so I think she bought it, but... what the hell am I doing?
She ain't even the only one. We had something freaky going on, and whatever it was got to Bulba. Seeing him like that, I... shit. If I had a single ounce of common sense, I would have hightailed it right the hell outta Dodge. Don't matter what they look like, a threat's a threat, right? I might be stupid, but I ain't suicidal. So why'd I just sit there like a dumbass and let him come straight at me? I didn't even give a shit what happened to me. Couldn't think of nothing but that stupid face of his. What if that had been for keeps? What if it didn't just go away on its own? I would have just walked facefirst into my own goddamn death.
And while this was going on, Green... he... goddammit. He ain't even been gone that long yet, and I... god, I'm already plannin' what I'm gonna do when he don't come back. Stupid, right? 'Course he's comin' back. It's just some retarded little family visit. No big deal. He's comin' back. He's definitely comin' back.
I wouldn't go back to Kanto. I couldn't face him or Ma or you. I'd go someplace where nobody knew me and tear it to bits. Just start wrecking until they damn well knew who I was. Then after that, I'd... hell, I dunno. This is kind of a shitty plan. Think I should take Bulba and Nyx with me?
The hell am I even saying? They hurt me, Aiden. I knew it was coming. I knew it. Those seven years weren't nothing but a time bomb, and I just sat there grinning like an idiot and waiting for it to blow up in my face. What am, I stupid? Fuck 'em both. Since when was I some kind of doormat? Since when would I ever put up with anybody messing with me? What the hell am I still doing here, if things are so bad that I'll just take somebody trying to hurt me lying down? I gotta take off, Aiden. I gotta get out of here. It's worse than it was last time. I can't just run off again while Green's away or he'll wreck me, but I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. I'm trying to wit until he gets back, but it's like somebody's got me by the throat and they're squeezing harder and harder.
I just invite trouble on myself, don't I? God, you think you're getting better, and it turns out that you've sunk lower than before. I mean... shit. At least when you hurt me, I was smart enough to hate you. Now I'm so desperate I'll just keep on saying "nah, I can trust these guys" even when I know I can't? What the hell am I supposed to do?
...That's a real stupid question, ain't it? You grab a wasp and it stings you, y'don't keep holding onto it.
- Kerosene