Char (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rivalkidneypunch) wrote2011-01-17 02:36 am
rivalkidneypunch) wrote2011-01-17 02:36 am
Entry tags:
[Backdated to Saturday morning]
Almost as soon as Bulba had left, Char was fumbling for his cell phone. He jumped to Aiden's name and hit dial, changed his mind, hung up, and threw the phone onto his bed.
Gay. The kid was gay. He just goes and drops a bombshell like that on Char, then gives him the whole kicked puppy act when Char wasn't instantly head-over-heels with joy? Char didn't like... that kind of thing. He wasn't okay with it. He just... wasn't. He couldn't just decide to stop being weirded out by it on a dime.
He was sure that Green was going to have a few things to say about the way Char had driven Bulba out. There certainly hadn't been anything tactful about the way he'd reacted. It wouldn't be surprising if the kid thought Char wanted him out of his life forever. But he needed Bulba out of his face, before his temper had him saying anything he really didn't mean. Or... maybe did mean? Whatever. He knew there were things he absolutely couldn't say to Bulba, things he couldn't take back once they were out in the open, and he knew he'd never have near enough self-control to reign himself in.
What he needed was time. Time to let it sink in, gather his cool, clear his head. Char was screwed up. He knew that. But he wasn't going to let his bullshit screw Bulba up too; he'd made up his mind about that a long time ago. He was positive Bulba had held his silence up until now out of fear. That he'd kept it secret because he believed Char would disown him right on the spot. It wasn't an entirely baseless fear to have; trust and Char had always had a funny love/hate relationship, and it never did take much to have him retreating back into himself.
But goddamnit, he wasn't gonna be that person anymore. Bulba had been stung more than enough times by all the shit that Char pulled. Maybe Char couldn't just force himself to be okay with it all at once, but... he might be able to get used to it? If he could rewire himself from that needy little Charmander into the kind of Pokemon he'd believed Green wanted, then he could rewire one more thing.
He just needed time.
Char didn't hesitate. He stormed out of the dorm, leaving the door open a crack for Rasputin. As soon as he was outside, he spread his wings, and took off running. If he could do the trip to Sinnoh, Kanto would be no problem. He couldn't go to Aiden's house; his team already knew how to find it. Instead, he planned to revisit another old haunt, a place he'd always associated with solitude: the northern side of Route 10. His territory, back in the wild days. No phones, no trainers, no addresses to look up. He could get his head together there, and not have to worry about anyone else until he was ready to come back. Until he was sure than idiot tongue of his wouldn't go spilling something hurtful in Bulba's direction.
The wind was cold under his wings, and he felt heavy with a vague, creeping sense of guilt, but as loath as he was to admit it, he was already breathing easier. It felt damn good to be running away again.
Gay. The kid was gay. He just goes and drops a bombshell like that on Char, then gives him the whole kicked puppy act when Char wasn't instantly head-over-heels with joy? Char didn't like... that kind of thing. He wasn't okay with it. He just... wasn't. He couldn't just decide to stop being weirded out by it on a dime.
He was sure that Green was going to have a few things to say about the way Char had driven Bulba out. There certainly hadn't been anything tactful about the way he'd reacted. It wouldn't be surprising if the kid thought Char wanted him out of his life forever. But he needed Bulba out of his face, before his temper had him saying anything he really didn't mean. Or... maybe did mean? Whatever. He knew there were things he absolutely couldn't say to Bulba, things he couldn't take back once they were out in the open, and he knew he'd never have near enough self-control to reign himself in.
What he needed was time. Time to let it sink in, gather his cool, clear his head. Char was screwed up. He knew that. But he wasn't going to let his bullshit screw Bulba up too; he'd made up his mind about that a long time ago. He was positive Bulba had held his silence up until now out of fear. That he'd kept it secret because he believed Char would disown him right on the spot. It wasn't an entirely baseless fear to have; trust and Char had always had a funny love/hate relationship, and it never did take much to have him retreating back into himself.
But goddamnit, he wasn't gonna be that person anymore. Bulba had been stung more than enough times by all the shit that Char pulled. Maybe Char couldn't just force himself to be okay with it all at once, but... he might be able to get used to it? If he could rewire himself from that needy little Charmander into the kind of Pokemon he'd believed Green wanted, then he could rewire one more thing.
He just needed time.
Char didn't hesitate. He stormed out of the dorm, leaving the door open a crack for Rasputin. As soon as he was outside, he spread his wings, and took off running. If he could do the trip to Sinnoh, Kanto would be no problem. He couldn't go to Aiden's house; his team already knew how to find it. Instead, he planned to revisit another old haunt, a place he'd always associated with solitude: the northern side of Route 10. His territory, back in the wild days. No phones, no trainers, no addresses to look up. He could get his head together there, and not have to worry about anyone else until he was ready to come back. Until he was sure than idiot tongue of his wouldn't go spilling something hurtful in Bulba's direction.
The wind was cold under his wings, and he felt heavy with a vague, creeping sense of guilt, but as loath as he was to admit it, he was already breathing easier. It felt damn good to be running away again.
I don't want to flood flists so please accept this melodrama.
And thus he was giving Char as much room as he could, on the off chance that just seeing him would make things worse. Maybe Char would come find him when he was ready or whatever.
But after a while he noticed that it was just a little too easy to avoid the other pokemon, almost as if... Bulba suddenly changed his tactics, actively seeking the Charizard out instead.
The efforts were in vain. Char was no where to be found. He hadn't wanted to be a disappointment. He hadn't wanted to give Char a reason to leave.
Char had left without a word, just like Bulba had desperately been afraid he would.
He never loathed himself more than he did right then.