rivalkidneypunch | (no subject)

( [Obligatory tl;dr whiny narration/log summary] )

[So Char is obviously pretty busy today, but did you know he was busy the previous night, too? Because as it turns out, grad happens to fall on the same day as a certain Biomechanical Engineering teacher's birthday. She is thirty-six years old today. You know what that means. It is also worth noting that Char still has that set of teacher keys he stole during the zombie panic during that one Halloween.

Therefore, dearest Samus, when you open your classroom door this morning, you may be delighted to note that someone has filled the room with balloons. Happy birthday.]

--

[A note slipped under Blacky's door, obviously unhackable]
I know it's been a long time, but you haven't forgotten about me, have you, Vap? I shouldn't have made you wait for so long, but I want you to know I'm okay. I'm alive. I'm happy.

You try to stay happy too, okay?

-Kerosene
[/note]

--

Here's a chillin' thought for everyone.

There ain't no record of any other Charizards graduatin' here, and the other regions sure as shit don't let Pokemon enroll in schools. I'm the first Charizard to get a high-school diploma.

As of right now, I am the smartest goddamn Charizard in the world.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I base it on the fact that I'm a goddamn genius. The diploma's just a piece of paper provin' it.

Are you.

Took down your Gyarados with a friggin' powerline. I'd say that counts as smarter than you, at least.

It only shows that you were able to do so. Such brute force has no bearing on intellect.

Nah, brute force is just punchin the thing into submission. That was usin' the environment to come up with a one-shot counter to your shitty fish, and you sure as shit didn't predict that one, did you?

I am not psychic nor have I ever claimed to be. A brief situation proves nothing.

I ain't sayin' you're psychic. I'm just sayin' you're shit at thinkin' on your feet, because I totally strategized circles around you.

Besides, this here diploma's proof of years of bein' smart, not just a brief whatever-the-fuck. My hilariously brilliant takedown of your Gyarados ain't nothin' more than one of many examples of how sharp I am.

One action is insufficient. Moreover, one as self-centered as you knows nothing.

Sour grapes, buddy. You're just butthurt that I'm smarter'n you.

There are simple enough ways of determining such things.

Like my sweet-ass diploma, or like your Gyarados' thunderstruck ass?

Something far more reliable.

Christ. The hell do you want, a spellin' bee?

That would demonstrate only spelling ability. Practical knowledge goes far beyond textbooks.

Anyone ever told you that you're basically the least fun guy to talk to ever?

Unimportant. It shows only their own ignorance to state it.

No, I'm dead serious. All you been doin' is sayin' all the proof I'm smart ain't good enough, because Arceus forbid a giant lizard might actually be smarter'n you.

Arceus permits many abhorrent things, but I do not believe you are speaking factually.

What the hell do you think you been doin', then? Swappin' bake sale recipes?

I always speak facts. You are merely delusional.