Another year on the football team. Not that it's that big a surprise to anyone. I practically carry that team singlehandedly. With Casper and Bulba backin' me up, we got this thing in the bag. Max... hell, I guess I might try that weight room bullshit out too. Just 'cause I like you.

Pity our coach had to up and skip town like that. If it weren't for the fact Biomech's still around, I'd suspect a little hanky-panky. Just how long has that shit been goin' on, anyway? I'da been a bit more gentlemanly if I'd known I was hittin' on a taken woman.

...Almost typed that with a straight face, too. Hey, Biomech! If those nights get a little too lonely, you know which dorm is mine. Once you go Char, you never go far. Or... somethin' like that, anyway. I could use a little excitement. Things have been kinda slow around here. I'm bored shitless as we speak.

Y'know what? Smash Academy. Screw, kill, marry. Let's do it.